Last night, as I was laying in my bed, I began to have a little anxiety about my post yesterday. I talked with my sister-in-law about it before I wrote it, and she was fine with me writing it. But I couldn’t help feeling like maybe I had over-shared. Maybe it’s because it was something so personal and that had affected me so deeply. My intention wasn’t to write for sympathy. I write, in part, because it is therapeutic for me. It helps me to sort out my feelings and to come to terms with certain things. All of these life experiences, and more importantly the way we respond to them, help to mold us into the people we are today. My experience with Wyatt was one such experience. Though it hurts to think about it, I don’t ever want to forget him. I don’t want to not talk about him. Maybe it seems irrelevant to this dementia blog, but it seems as though everything in my life goes back to dementia. It affects nearly every aspect of my life. That was partly the message I attempted to convey yesterday.
All that to say, I thought I should share something a little more upbeat today. Afterall, life is about finding the joy in the journey.
Last Friday was my and my hubby’s 10th wedding anniversary. One thing my mom is still great about is remembering the birthdays and anniversaries of her closest family members. She talks often about the cards she has collected from the Dollar Tree for so-n-so’s upcoming birthday and/or anniversary; she plans months in advance. She sets each card out days in advance anticipating the day that she is ready to mail them or hand them out.
I dropped by my mom’s house on Friday morning. Mom came out in her pajamas and of course made mention to me about how I had to see her as a Plain Jane. I immediately tried to redirect her and with a big, cheesy grin on my face, I turned to her and enthusiastically said,
“Mom, do you know what special day is today?”
She gave me a blank look and slowly shook her a head.
“Mom, think about what day it is today. Do you remember what is special about today?”
She turned around and walked over to her calendar hanging on the wall.
“I don’t know, today is Friday?”
“Yes, it’s Friday, August 9th. There are two special things about today,” I said, cluing her in.
After a few minutes of mumbling and squinting at her calendar, the light bulb finally went on.
“Oh yeah, it’s your anniversary and I have something to please let me give to you now please.”
I followed behind her as she quickly marched into the living room where she had my card sitting on a shelf.
“That’s right mom,” I said as I followed behind. “It’s 10 years today! And it’s also grandma’s birthday; your mom’s birthday. Remember?”
I don’t think she heard me once she was on her mission to retrieve the card. But she was so excited to give me my card and I gave her a hug and thanked her. As I opened up the card, I couldn’t help but to grin. Inside, in her handwriting, she wrote,
“Cassandra & Jeff,
Bud & Deana
Cassandra’s Dad & Mom”
(Just in case we forgot who she was, he he). It does make me chuckle when I see her cards. They are so heartfelt and so innocent. I will hold onto this memory for years to come.