Happy Birthday Mommy

I'm a week late in posting this, but last Monday (the 11th) was mom's birthday. I wanted to blog about it, but I've been pretty busy and to be honest, I didn't have anything too positive to say. It was a bit of a disappointment, to say the least. We all knew that mom would probably not remember her birthday; afterall, the last birthday she remembered was last summer and she didn't understand Mother's Day (or any other holiday). So you'd think we would be prepared for the disappointment. Nevertheless, we thought-whether she understood her birthday or not-we would take her out to the mall and let her shop to her heart's delight at Bath & Body Works (followed by dinner at her favorite place, Miguel's). Mom has been extremely antsy to get out of the house lately, so we figured she'd jump on the chance to go out to the mall.

We prepped her days in advance of our shopping plans with seemingly no comprehension on her part. Then, on Sunday, she surprised us all by saying that dad was taking her to the mall "tomorrow". We felt optimistic that she has grasped something we had said. But the optimism was short lived. I arrived at her house at 4:00 on her birthday to help my dad get her ready to go to the mall. To make a long and tiring story short, mom couldn't understand what we were trying to get her to do. I brought the kids in to sing Happy Birthday to her, but they may as well have sang it to the wall for the response they got from their grandma. I thought the tune might-just maybe-spark a memory in her. We showed her her bottles of body lotion, stating that we wanted to take her to get more. Nothing. Mom sat on her bed and fixated her attention to the clock, waiting for it to turn to 4:30 which would allow her to go and eat her pb&j sandwich for dinner. We tried for more than half an hour to get her out the door until we finally resigned our efforts. I could tell that my dad felt let down and our moods all shifted from hope and optimism to sadness and defeat.

If there is anything positive that we can say about mom's birthday, it is that we had a show of love and support from our friends and family. We had set up a fundraiser for The DEANA Foundation, honoring it's namesake's birthday, at-where else?-Miguel's Jr. Throughout the day, I received texts, pictures and posts from friends who were dining at Miguel's and wishing my mom a happy birthday. I can't tell you how much that means. Though my mom's memory fades, the memory of the person she once was will forever live on.

(The top picture was taken when I was delivering my first baby in 2005. The second picture was taken on Mother's Day; it's a blurry shot but that's all we can get these days).