Incontinence. I hate that word.
I've known from the beginning that incontinence is part of the disease. But four years ago, it was hard to imagine that it could actually happen to my mom. I thought maybe it would skip her, or only happen in the very last weeks of her life. In fact, I prayed that when the incontinent phase did hit full swing that the end would come quick. Nobody should have to suffer like that. My dad was optimistic that maybe this phase would pass over her altogether.
Mom's incontinence started in October, but it was sporadic. She might go a few weeks without a single accident and then have accidents two or three days in a row. It's easy to say to put a diaper on her, but much harder to do. Over the past couple of months, there have been a few times that we have had to put diapers on her because on that given day she was continually wetting herself. Once she was dry for a day or two, dad would put her back in regular underwear to preserve whatever amount of dignity was left, for as long as possible.
Unfortunately, over the past two week, the incontinence has been an everyday occurrence which has resulted in Mom's use of diapers on a daily basis. It breaks my heart, yet I've known it was coming. I've expected it. I think up until a couple of weeks ago, my dad was still hoping we could bypass the constant use of diapers. Putting the diapers on mom has eliminated a lot of mess and stress of cleaning up some pretty messy accidents, but there are downsides to diapers, aside from the obvious (losing one's dignity). Today, when I bathed mom, I discovered red bumps on her bottom. I couldn't but let out a little cry when I saw them.
"Oh mom, you poor thing," I said, as she stepped into the shower.
My maternal instincts set in and I felt pained and saddened when I saw her bottom. Poor dear must be miserable! Even though we try to stay on top of things and change her when she's wet, she's still developed a rash. I didn't have any desitin on hand to treat it (I'll be making a run to the pharmacy here in a bit!), but my dad did have cornstarch in his cupboard. Linda, our caregiver, suggested we try it and I remembered how I used to use cornstarch for my babies whenever they had a bad diaper rash. After I cleaned her up, I put some cornstarch in the diaper. Tonight my dad will try desitin (or whatever the pharmacist might recommend!!) Hopefully with persistent changing and cleansing, it'll clear up quickly.
But, I'm sure this is just the beginning. I've read the horror stories of others who have been there already: diaper rashes, bed sores, frequent UTI's...I suppose it's just the next step in the disease. But it sucks all the same :/
I'm so sorry that there has been another loss in her abilities. We used Depends, as they were easy to get on like underwear. And, I'm sure you are having her checked for UTIs at the times of more frequent accidents. My mom used to get fungal infections in the creases of her legs, and under her breasts and tummy. We found Baza Cream was wonderful for dealing with this. It is totally unfair that your mom and you all have to go through this - it is the ultimate in role-reversal. I was aware that it was more difficult for me than it was for my mom or aunt, who were experiencing the incontinence. It helped if I could be matter-of-fact, as then they seemed to be able to let me help them more easily. Again, I am so sorry your mom, dad, and all of you have to deal with this horrid disease. You continue to be an awesome caregiver, and by talking about these things, you are helping to illuminate them. I am also impressed with how your entire family is aware, concerned, and compassionate toward your mom and others with dementia. God bless.
ReplyDeleteWe've checked her periodically for UTI's...so far, so good. Thanks for the tips and for reading and commenting. It helps me to feel like I'm not going through this alone!
DeleteKudos to you for making it very clear just how difficult this disease is with issues most people would not openly discuss. People need to understand what this progression is really like!
ReplyDeleteI think until you go through it, you have no idea that this is part of the disease. Most people just think it's forgetting memories, but it's so much more than that. I know I used to be one of those people...I had no clue!
DeleteYes! Cornstarch really a great treatment for diaper rash! It minimize the itchiness we feel over some rashes especially on diaper rash.
ReplyDeletewww.knownhomeremedies.com/home-remedies-for-diaper-rash
Ilex skin protectant with pure zinc oxide over it is a LIFE SAVER and a skin saver! Make your own skin wipes using sterile saline and paper towels too! We had issues with skin break down and the wound care specialist told me about this! Desitin has things in it that can also irritate and sting the skin and cornstarch can cause really bad infections. Desitin and cornstarch are ok in a pinch but not for long term use. You would think the saline burns but it is soothing and will heal that rash over night.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip! We started using Burt Bee's and that seemed to clear it up!
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