Memory Masquerade

I've always tried to be very open with our journey on this blog, sharing every part of it; the good, the bad, the ugly. The other day I realized that I have been holding back a big part of my journey with dementia. Why am I doing this? I don't really know, but I suppose a big part of it is fear; mostly fear of what people think.

I have mentioned The DEANA Foundation on here before, but I don't mention it often. I think a big part of that is because I don't want to come off as though I'm trying to advertise or "sell" something to my readers; that isn't my intent with this blog. With that said, the foundation has become a huge part of my life and a big chunk of this journey and I feel that I'm not being authentic by holding back and not talking about it. The truth is, I spend a portion of nearly everyday contributing something to the foundation, whether it's phone calling, making presentations around the community, working out details on events, etc. Some days, I feel like I am crazy to have started all of this while in the midst of caring for my mother and my young family. There are moments when I question myself if this is what I should be doing and focusing on. There are moments when I feel very inadequate, like I am a tiny fish in a giant pond. There are moments when I want to throw in the towel and quit (not gonna lie). Yet, there are other moments when I feel like I was definitely meant to carry out this work, especially when we are able to award grants to help families that have nowhere else to go. It gives me a positive direction to channel my emotions and it is a way of honoring my mom. While at these events, I'm able to talk about her, talk about what we've been through while trying to make a change within a broken system. I feel that in some small way I am making (or attempting to make) lemonade out of the lemons we've been given. That is becoming my new mantra for life: making lemonade out of lemons!

For those who aren't up to speed on The DEANA Foundation, you can visit our website to learn more, but basically our goal is to raise money to help middle-class families (since they are the ones always left behind) with caregiving costs associated with dementia. We do this through donations, fundraising and hosting events.To date, we have been able to help 3 families in our community with our grant program. We have done so much over the past couple of years and have many great things in the works right now, so I'm optimistic that number will continue to increase each year.

Right now, we are planning our first annual Gala fundraiser, which we've given the theme of "Memory Masquerade". The goal is to raise money for the foundation, which we award as grants to families who need help. This will be our biggest event so far and is going to be a beautiful evening; our guests will get dressed up and enjoy a nice, catered dinner. We will have a photographer there taking photos and we are having a silent auction, which we've gotten some amazing items donated for (including a helicopter ride, an autographed copy of Kimberly Williams-Paisley's book as well as an autographed copy of "Still Alice", lunch with the Mayor, themed gift baskets...just to name a few of many fabulous things we are auctioning off...and the donations are still rolling in!). We'll have some entertainers throughout dinner and a guest speaker is coming from The Alzheimer's Association. We are also planning a very special tribute for those affected by dementia. I don't want to spoil the surprise of everything we are doing, but we are making some lovely, meaningful keepsakes for caregivers to take home and will also have a special presentation dedicated to all of those affected. Given the fact that this foundation wouldn't exist were it not for my mom, we are paying her a special tribute as well, which gives meaning to me and my family on all that we are doing. I'm really excited about the evening but if I'm being honest it has brought a bit of anxiety as well. For one thing, it's been a lot of work and at times it is overwhelming. It consumes my thoughts and I'm constantly second guessing myself. For another, I'm so afraid of failing. With all of the hours that I and my volunteers have put into this so far, and all of the emotion and energy and focus we have given- I don't want it all to be in vain. Nevertheless, I am optimistic that the evening will be a success and that this work will move forward! When I sit back and look at what we've been able to accomplish this far, I am proud of our work and feel motivated to keep pushing along, hard as it may sometimes be.

Even though I don't speak of it often on this blog, know that the foundation is still plugging along! It grows stronger with each passing year and I feel like we are finally gaining momentum and heading in the right direction.

To view our gala information, you can view our website or click here for our Facebook event page.