First of all, I am so grateful for the wonderful family members and friends who came to support her in this big show. This is the biggest thing she has been a part of and whenever she performs, she always asks who is going to come watch her. I think it gives her confidence to know that she has her own cheering section of supporters and people who love her. Watching her on stage was an extremely proud mom moment for me. She has grown so much over the past year and I'm in awe of this little human that I had a part in creating!
After Aubrey's number, I couldn't help but to think about how proud my mom would have been to see her granddaughter up on stage. Mom always beamed with pride whenever she watched her own children perform. I have no doubt that she would have been there with us and would have been so incredibly proud of Aubrey's talent. So many emotions were stirred last night, and ever since; like the fading fire that has been stirred in the ash. Many feelings that I have been struggling with have been reignited. It's hard to put everything I am feeling into words. One on hand, I feel incredibly proud and joyful of Aubrey's accomplishments. On the other hand, it has awakened feelings of extreme sadness, hurt and even anger.
Nobody ever said life would be fair. Still, there are moments when the unfairness of it all gets to me. I try to be upbeat and positive, but that's not how it is all the time. I feel like I am such a fragile person right now, that I am going to break at any given moment. I think I hide it well, but there are some moments that I really struggle. It breaks my heart that my mom couldn't live to see this. It breaks my heart that Aubrey didn't have a grandma there to cheer her on; it breaks my heart more than words can say. There are other heartbreaking thoughts and feelings I have that are probably better left unsaid. It just plain sucks that my mom was cheated out of this part of her life; that we were all cheated of having her in it. I have lost more than just my mother. I've lost my cheerleader, my confidant, the grandmother to my children, my friend. I miss her more and more every day. I thought it would get better, but some days it only seems to be worse. I don't know when or if it will ever get any better. They say that it gets better with time, but the void will always be there. It will be there at every birthday party, every recital or show or game, every holiday; graduations and weddings and births. We will think about her every time, and we will mourn her all over again. Somehow I have to learn to live with this without falling apart every time.
Forgive me for my negativity. There are still many things to be grateful for. The people who showed up last night mean the world to me. I know my dad would probably rather be watching a football game, yet he comes to watch his grandkids and support them in their endeavors. My father-in-law made an hour drive to be there. My Aunt Sharon and Uncle Tim came. Other friends and family members came out as well and it means a great deal to me to have all of them there in support of Aubrey.
I try to imagine that my mom really is there watching. Maybe, just maybe, she's on the other side with her parents and with her friends, bragging, "That's my granddaughter!" I can imagine the smile beaming across her face and the loud cheering; the heavenly kiss upon Aubrey's cheek. Of course, I have no proof that this scenario could really exist. I have no idea what it's like on the other side or if they are allowed to peek in on us. All I can do is imagine and hope. It's the only thing that brings me comfort.
Having Dementia disease knocked my grandma off her life and had her living like a mad person, I did know how the better part of her life eluded her, my mind was completely splatted in two, She showed a severe decline in her mental and cognitive skills in the last few years of her life and her quality of life had deteriorated greatly in the last 3 years of life where she was mostly bedridden. I am very glad my partner sought help and now she is free from all signs of psychosis. She was healed through the herbal medicines from Dr Charanjit, I do not wish to go the same route and I manage to live a fairly active and healthy lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteHere are her words "Finally, can you imagine what it would feel like to be NORMAL again, like I were before I was struck down by this horrible condition that you never asked for, and don’t deserve?" Sounds great doesn't it?
You can contact him via email charantova@gmail.com He is well known for his groundbreaking treatments concerning the brain and mind issues.
As a sign of gratitude for how my son was saved from dementia , i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
ReplyDeleteMy son suffered dementia and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony of so many people who was cured from dementia and so many other with similar body problem, and they left the contact of the doctor who had the herbal cure to dementia . I never imagined dementia has a cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my son will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my son used it and in one months he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life. dementia has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony
I would be ungrateful if I decided not to share our success experience with ZOMO, I was a born caregiver, so it’s hard for me to look at my own needs as separate from my Dad’s needs. Most patients just need someone to hug them and tell them that they are not worthless, the treatment I tried not only worked but I believe cured him.
ReplyDeleteHe was diagnosed in 2011. I took Dad to the GP after noticing that he had become increasingly forgetful and vague. The clear sign that something was wrong came when he drove his car to the local shops (a five minute drive), bought his shopping, then walked back home, forgetting the car was parked outside the shop. The next day he rang me to say the car had been stolen. He had no recollection of leaving it behind. After a week he began to repeat himself and ask the same questions. He would struggle to remember conversations that had only occurred five minutes earlier.
His situation was very complicated. I understand how one feel as a daughter and once caregiver, memory loss is so much more complicated. Many have been conditioned to think that traditional medicine has not found a cure for a disease. ZOMO have challenged this train of my thought. When he was ill, it was a tragedy, I endured, I was broken, I knew hardship, I was lost. But here I stand and I can tell you unequivocally that my Dad is cured. It is those of us who have been broken that understand the meaning of memory loss. As I look at the past and start writing this, tears of joy overwhelm me. I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better. It was one of my most difficult jobs and one that I poured my heart and soul into daily. Taking into account how well my Dad progressed in that space of time and now. There is no more memory loss symptoms for more than 6months now. The thing is, I get peace of mind when Dad is well taken care of: when he’s happy, I’m happy. Right now, it’s all about him…I always enter into his world so we can manage life together. We wake up every morning with a smile and we look forward to what the new day will bring. Reach out to him at charantova@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteAlthough therapy has become more tolerable and once daily FDC tables have made it easier to adhere to prescribed treatment, it still requires that patients take their medication regularly to achieve sustained viral suppression. When treatment adherence is inadequate and replication is therefore not suppressed, But dr itua promised and fulfilled his promised to me as he said I will share his work to people that are suffering from Infertility, Herpes,Cervical Cancer,Bone Cancer,Brain Cancer,Prostate Cancer,Leukemia,Brain Tumor,Breast Cancer,Blood Cancer,Kidney Cancer,, Hepatitis A/B, Fibroid, HIV/ Aids, Alzheimer's disease, Arthritis, Copd, Diabetes, Liver/Kidney Inflamotry,Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.Alzheimer's disease,
Dementia. Fibromyalgia, Parkinson's disease, I have read a lot of testimony online from Jesus McKinney,Achima Abelard and Tara Omar on how dr itua heal them with his herbal medicine I contacted him on Email drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com /info@drituaherbalcenter.com. then we talk on whatsapp +2348149277967 he gave me instruction on how to drink it for two weeks then after drinking it for two weeks I went for test then I find out I was cured of HIV, I thank him allot i also send him some money for appreciation, Contact this great herbal doctor if you are a sick person.