Pink Panther

Lately my mom has been a little obsessed with her clothes matching. She's become a little bit too matchey-matchey, in fact. The other day I walked into her room, to find her in her usual position sitting on her bed. Right away, she pointed out how well her maroon shirt matched her maroon pants.

"I just wish I could find pink sock things and pink shoes to match this too. I wonder if JC Penney will have any pink that could match too."

Indeed, she wants to be one color from head to foot.

While my brother was visiting over the past couple of weeks, he one day decided to ease some of the burden off my dad and take my mom shopping to JC Penney (she has been nagging dad to take her for weeks now, despite the fact I just took her to JC Penney outlet a few weeks ago.) Mom was on a mission. She sifted through clothing on the racks until she found what she wanted: pink pants and a pink shirt to match. And I don't mean maroon...I mean Pink Panther pink. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to find pink socks and pink shoes to match. Bummer.

I've been anticipating her wearing her new pink outfit. However, once she got home and tried them on (my brother tried to convince her to try them on at the store, but she insisted size 10 was her size and they would be fine) she found that they didn't fit. Apparently, the stylish Skinny Jeans brand that she selected was cut smaller than her usual Gloria Vanderbilt jeans; she felt they were too tight.

Now mom has a dilemma: what do to with her pink pants.

Jeff (my husband) and I went over to my parent's house on Saturday night, a few days after her shopping trip, to visit with my brother and sister-in-law before they headed back to Arizona. Without any greeting, mom came right up to me while I was sitting on the couch, crouched down to my level and, with her face about 6 inches away from mine, asked me if I would please consider taking her pink pants.

"What I was wondering was that I bought some really good pants at JC Penney and they don't fit and I want to bless someone with them. What I was wondering is will you want them?"

I told my mom that it was unlikely they would fit me, seeing as we are different sizes.

"Why won't anyone let me bless them?" she whined.

We went back and forth for a few minutes; mom, trying to convince me how "good" her pants were and that I should take them. Me, trying to explain to her that they wouldn't fit me. Eventually, I decided to give in and try them on. Surely once she saw them on me she would understand that they didn't fit. Mom raced down the hall to her bedroom as I trailed behind her. I slipped into the pink pants and tried really hard to suppress my laughter as I looked at myself in her full-length mirror. Unfortunately for me, my plan backfired. Mom had no recognition that the pink pants were ill-fitted to my body.

"Oh good! They look so good on you, yeah. Oh good, I really wanted to bless you with these too," she said enthusiastically.

I couldn't hold back my laughter any longer. I walked back down the hall into the living room to model the pants for my family. Mom followed behind, tugging at my heels and continuing in her excitement about the pants.

"They look so good. And they even look good, match your toes, too," she said, pointing to my painted toenails. "Bless you," she added with a childish grin and a twinkle in her eye.

I tried to calm down my laughter and show her again that the pants were too big.



Mom didn't hear me or notice the excess material at the waist.

"Do you have a pink shirt too that you could wear with it?" she continued.

Joe (my brother) tried explaining to her that she can exchange her brand new pants and get a new size that would fit. He could've just as well tried explaining it to his 2 year old.

I debated what to do with the pants. I eventually changed back into my own pants and folded up the pink pants, placing them on her bed. I feel bad letting her down and dashing her hopes of me wearing her pink pants with a matching pink top. But it just can't happen. Not in public, anyway. I'm hoping to help her find the receipt and make an exchange for pants that will fit her. We'll see how that goes.