Yesterday was my 32nd birthday. I started my day like every other Monday: at my mom’s house. At first, mom seemed unaware of the date (she had given me my birthday card over the weekend…she just couldn’t wait!) When I prompted her, she remembered it was my birthday and reminisced about how good she did when she had two babies (I’m a twin).
My husband had arranged for my family to all go out to dinner later that evening and celebrate together. I wasn’t sure if dad had mentioned it to mom, so I decided to give her fair warning and ask her if she’d like to come. She was very happy to go out to dinner.
“That would be so good, yeah. And ask your dad too and it would be good to go do that for your birthday even though Joe won’t be here but it would be so good. Yeah. Where are we going? To that Tyler Mall place? Is that where we’re going? That would so good too, yeah…” she rambled, with a sparkle in her eye.
I tried, countless times, to explain to her that we were going to The Old Spaghetti Factory and that we’d be meeting at 5:00 to leave. Somehow, she had it in her mind that we were leaving at 4:30 to go to Miguels, which is at the Tyler Mall. It’s too exhausting to write out the entire events of the afternoon-the phone calls from mom nagging about leaving and asking me to please call my dad to let him know to be home by 4:30- but suffice it to say that she was very unhappy when 4:30 rolled around and we hadn’t left yet. She nagged and fussed and threw a stink until we loaded into the car to leave. Then, she was flustered when we drove the wrong way to the mall and even more upset when we pulled up to Spaghetti Factory.
“I don’t know why you changed it, dammit!”
The dining experience was the usual with mom: mom, giving her written list of what she wanted to eat to the waiter; mom calling the waiter from across the restaurant, unhappy that it was taking so long to get her food; mom, asking my sister to take her home before the check had arrived.
I’ve learned not to be bothered by mom’s behavior. It can be a little annoying and even embarrassing sometimes…but it’s nothing she can help. I’ve learned to find the humor in our situation, like when she sang Happy Birthday to me in full volume as soon as we sat down at the table. I can even chuckle at her little tantrums. If I don’t laugh, I’d cry, so it’s better to just laugh it off ;)
As tiring as it can sometimes be to take mom out, I am glad that she was there. We try to make the best of it and have fun with her.
Thank you mom, for giving me life and for being such a great mother to me over the years.