I've been struggling with writing over the past month or so. To be honest, I've been in a bit of a funk and been feeling really down about things regarding mom. Her disease continues to progress, we've struggled with having consistent help (which has resulted in a lot of extra shifts for me). Don't get me wrong-I don't resent being here to help. In fact, I am grateful that I have the flexibility much of the time to come over and be with her. But there are times that it all gets to be a bit overwhelming. Sometimes it's hard to not think about all that we've lost and imagine what life would be like if mom had never met this fate. I find my thoughts drifting and imagining how different life would be for my children if they had their grandma here to love them and nurture them, and me having a mom to guide me with her wisdom. This is where my mind has been over the past month and I just haven't felt up to writing about all of my woes.
So today the pity party must end. It's time to get back on track and be the strength that my family needs. I figure it's okay to cry about it now and then, but I have to pick myself up and move forward.
Today I'll share something a little more lighthearted. To begin with, mom's hair has grown out very long. This is the longest I've ever seen her hair! For a while it was kind of fun to see her hair long, but she no longer brushes it and even more recently, she is struggling with washing it. It used to be that I could get her into the shower and she'd wash her hair by herself. Now, she doesn't even get her hair wet. She pours half a bottle of shampoo on her dry head and leaves it at that. Needless to say, I've had to get in there and be more proactive at helping her wash and the length has added a challenge to both the washing and combing/drying process (she doesn't stand still long enough for me to dry it all the way). My dad and I figured it was time to get her a hair cut, but of course that it is another problem in and of itself. She has completely forgotten about going to the salon and if we try it at home, how do we get her to sit still long enough to cut it? I suggested to my dad that we try while she is outside sitting in her chair, since that seems to be her new favorite past time. We thought about bringing a professional in, but that would be challenging for them and since we know her best, I decided I could make an attempt at cutting her hair. I'm no professional by any means, but I've trimmed before and at the end of the day, it probably doesn't matter much if it's a perfect cut.
Yesterday was the big day. When I went to dad's house, we got out the scissors and lured mom out into the front yard and into her chair. The second I touched her hair, she protested. I had my nephew and my husband for back up while I tried to quickly cut the bulk of her hair. She wasn't too happy with it, but in the end I succeeded in getting her hair cut above her shoulders.
I took off quite a bit of hair!
It was near impossible to touch it up and get it perfect. I spent the remainder of the afternoon following her around with the scissors and cutting long stragglers. I was able to get her sitting down a couple more times as I quickly attempted to even out parts of her hair. The back ended up a little layered and it almost has an A-line effect. It's not perfection by a long shot but still, I think it suits her. I love all the natural wave she has in her hair. She has spent so many years drying and curling her hair with a curling iron that I never realized how much natural curl she has! That must be where I get it from! All in all, it worked out and I think it will be a whole lot easier managing mom's hair!