Monday, May 16, 2016

Mother's Week

Probably the hardest week of the whole year is [what I call] Mother’s Week. Mom’s birthday always falls in the same week as Mother’s Day-sometimes even on the same day. In fact, two years ago, her birthday fell on Mother’s Day. It was the last birthday she remembered, as I had predicted in my post.

Last year,
she had no clue what Mother’s Day, OR her birthday, were. We were hopeful that something might spark her memory, but without any luck.

This year, we knew well enough that she would have no clue about any of it. She doesn’t know what day of the week it is, let alone the month or day or anything significant. She has lost concept of time, oftentimes doesn’t know the difference between day and night, and one day just runs into the next for her.

The week leading up to Mother’s Week was a little emotional, as I prepared for another year without my mom. But I didn’t want to spoil the day by feeling sorry for myself, so I prepared myself mentally and made plans to spend time with my mom, despite her lack of comprehension. I still feel the need to DO something for my mom on special occassions, but what can you do for someone who doesn’t understand and appreciate the significance of the day, or have any interest in anything?

The best thing I can do for my mom is to care for her. So I decided to sell my toffee again to raise money for her caregiving fund. I kind of put it out there last minute, but I sold about 40 pounds! Thanks to my sister and my sister-in-law, Amber, for donating some of their time to help me get this done. I tend to bite off more than I can chew ;) Doing this helped me to feel like, despite mom’s lack of understanding, I was still able to give something to her to honor her special days.

On Mother’s Day, I enjoyed a short visit with mom, at her house. I took her to do the one thing she still seems to enjoy: take a walk to her sister’s house. She only stays for 2-3 minute visits now, but that 2 minutes makes her day. Twice, as we were walking, I could make out the words “Thank you thank you” as we made our way to her sister’s. Simple as it is, it’s the best I could think of to do for her.

On her birthday, we celebrated (without her) at her favorite restaurant once again: Miguel’s Jr. We did it as our 2nd annual foundation fundraiser in honor of my mom. I’m not sure yet how we did (financially), but there were quite a few familiar faces in the dining room and people I didn’t even recognize who walked in with fliers. Word is getting out; people are hearing about the foundation and supporting our cause while friends continue to come and celebrate my mom and support us in our journey. This support means the world to me. I know it means a lot to my dad, as well.

Mother’s Week was emotional; I think it always will be. I’ve learned that it’s okay to let a few tears slide. Though there was sadness in missing my mom, there was also a beauty in celebrating her and serving her. I am continued to be touched by the friendship and the love of friends and family that surround me. For that, I feel truly blessed.

I don’t know what next year holds for us, but for this year, she was still here physically and I was able to hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her; I am grateful for that.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sure that in the moment spending time with you, your mother was happy and content and felt loved. The here and now is all that is left for those with dementia, so all that can be done is to continue to show them that you care. You've done the best you can as a daughter, let that be enough as this horrific disease continues to steal everything else. The first photo is such a lovely one of her, full of life and a beautiful smile. I hate that Alzheimer's is able to take that away.