Tuesday, January 29, 2019

18 Months


18 months.

In some ways it seems like an eternity, and in other ways it seems like just yesterday that I said my final good-bye to my mom.

Life has completely changed without my mom here. I would be lying if I said that things weren't all around easier without the chaos of coordinating caregiving schedules and hurrying over in the mornings to bathe Mom and worrying about her throughout the day, worrying about the future. But I still miss her. I miss being able to touch her, hug her, tell her things; even if she didn't understand what I was saying, there was still some sort of comfort in talking to her.

They say that time heals. I don't believe that's true. The hole is never filled; we simply learn how to maneuver around it. The hardest part about the passage of time is when people expect that you will heal; that you will some how "get over it". The world moves on and slowly forgets the person you've loved so dearly and lost, but you never do. You remember. I remember.

I remember laying across her lap while she scratched my back. I remember the way her face would light up when she talked about her grandkids. I remember the smell of her hair and the scent of her lotion. I remember the way she would play with her hair and tuck it behind her ear when she was nervous. I remember the freckle in her eye and her front tooth that was slightly crooked that she was always self-conscious about, but that we loved because it was a characteristic of her. I remember laying on her bed at night, chatting with her about whatever was on my mind (until my dad would come and kick me out of the room). I remember my mentor, my cheerleader, my mother, my friend. I remember all of her.

But I'm also afraid of forgetting. If I live to be an old lady, I will have lived more than half my life without her. How can that be when she is such a big part of my life? Will she slowly start to fade away?

There are no new memories being made. There are no new pictures to share. And I worry that I will forget. I worry that my children will forget. I am afraid of losing this part of who I am as the time passes and as everyone else around me moves on, and forgets.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her. Not one single day. There will always be a void.

And so, I cling to the memories I have of her. I continue to talk about her to my kids. I imagine that she is there, cheering them on, cheering me on. And I hope beyond hope that I will see her again one day. What a glorious reunion that will be.



15 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your humaneness with us. I lost my dad to Alzheimer’s August 26. I know it sounds strange but I keep his obituary close. My mother wrote it and it captures the magic of my dad, a professor, a husband, and father. I sure do miss him.

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  2. I would be ungrateful if I decided not to share our success experience with ZOMO, I was a born caregiver, so it’s hard for me to look at my own needs as separate from my Dad’s needs. Most patients just need someone to hug them and tell them that they are not worthless, the treatment I tried not only worked but I believe cured him.

    He was diagnosed in 2011. I took Dad to the GP after noticing that he had become increasingly forgetful and vague. The clear sign that something was wrong came when he drove his car to the local shops (a five minute drive), bought his shopping, then walked back home, forgetting the car was parked outside the shop. The next day he rang me to say the car had been stolen. He had no recollection of leaving it behind. After a week he began to repeat himself and ask the same questions. He would struggle to remember conversations that had only occurred five minutes earlier.

    His situation was very complicated. I understand how one feel as a daughter and once caregiver, memory loss is so much more complicated. Many have been conditioned to think that traditional medicine has not found a cure for a disease. ZOMO have challenged this train of my thought. When he was ill, it was a tragedy, I endured, I was broken, I knew hardship, I was lost. But here I stand and I can tell you unequivocally that my Dad is cured. It is those of us who have been broken that understand the meaning of memory loss. As I look at the past and start writing this, tears of joy overwhelm me. I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better. It was one of my most difficult jobs and one that I poured my heart and soul into daily. Taking into account how well my Dad progressed in that space of time and now. There is no more memory loss symptoms for more than 6months now. The thing is, I get peace of mind when Dad is well taken care of: when he’s happy, I’m happy. Right now, it’s all about him…I always enter into his world so we can manage life together. We wake up every morning with a smile and we look forward to what the new day will bring. Reach out to him at charantova@gmail.com

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  3. As a sign of gratitude for how my husband was saved from Dementia, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My husband suffered Dementia and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony of so many people who was cured from Dementia, and so many other with similar body problem, and they left the contact of this doctor who had the herbal cure to Dementia. I never imagined Dementia has a cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my husband will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my husband used it and in one months he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life.Dementia has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony .

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  4. I'm 15 years old. I was born with HIV my mother passed away because of the HIV infection And I regret why i never met Dr Itua he could have cured my mum for me because as a single mother it was very hard for my mother I came across Dr itua healing words online about how he cure different disease in different races diseases like HIV/Aids Herpes,Parkison,Asthma,Autism,Copd,Epilepsy,Shingles,Cold Sore,Infertility, Chronic Fatigues Syndrome,Fibromyalgia,Love Spell,Prostate Cancer,Lung Cancer,Glaucoma.,psoriasis,Cirrhosis of Liver, Cataracts,Macular degeneration, Infectious mononucleosis.,Cardiovascular disease,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.Alzheimer's disease,psoriasis,
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  5. As a sign of gratitude for how my husband was saved from Dementia, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My husband suffered Dementia and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony of so many people who was cured from Dementia, and so many other with similar body problem, and they left the contact of this doctor who had the herbal cure to Dementia. I never imagined Dementia has a cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my husband will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my husband used it and in one months he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life.Dementia has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony .

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  6. As a sign of gratitude for how my husband was saved from Dementia, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My husband suffered Dementia and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony of so many people who was cured from Dementia, and so many other with similar body problem, and they left the contact of this doctor who had the herbal cure to Dementia. I never imagined Dementia has a cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my husband will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my husband used it and in one months he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life.Dementia has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony .    

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  7. I can’t forget in a hurry my Mom's horrible years of fight with Mental ailment (Alzheimer). My Mom got really sick around Christmas that year. When I saw her in the hospital with all those tubes, I just lost it. I got so hysterical that I had to be escorted out. Soon after that, I got into that altercation with my neighbor and was sent to jail. When I got out of jail, Her symptoms were acting up and I felt so angry.  Dad had already taken her to a state psychiatric hospital. I was really nervous, but I talked to a psychiatrist there who made me feel comfortable. For the first time, she opened up about what she was experiencing—the voices, not being able to remember things, the paranoia. She said, “Your mom is battling Alzheimer.” I didn’t even know what that meant.

    He suggested that when she got out of the hospital and off the treatments she was taking there, we try a new treatment for Alzheimer. After weighing the risks and benefits, we both agreed the treatment, given through monthly injections, might help control her symptoms. Meanwhile, I made friends, and gained insight into her illness. During the week, there were movies, cooking classes and education sessions about her disease—basically, activities to help people like her get back into society. I learned about Alzheimer and what some of her triggers were. All told, she stayed there for two months and we left, I was taking her for doctor’s appointments and grocery shopping. It was hard, especially when her birthday passed, I still helped her walk, fix her food and dress her which made me sad because she was very active at 69 until the illness struck her.

    I came across a herbal medication sometimes last year called zomo but before we started the treatment, we started a day rehabilitation program, and also started the new medication with zomo. I was working hard to achieve my care goals by following the treatment plan. Her symptoms got under control within three months, as she started feeling better. First she regained interest in the things she used to enjoy, like calling/visiting our family and friends for lunch and going for walks in the park and grocery shopping. I will never forget what I went through, or what it took for her to get here. I don’t take any of it for granted. I consider myself an advocate for people who don’t have any knowledge about this herbal medicine. To anyone who’s taken the time to read this that may be struggling with this awful ailment (Alzheimer), reach out, share, I guarantee you reach out to charantova@gmail.com, and know, that as lonely as you may feel, as hopeless as you believe things are, please know, that there are so many patients out there going through same and you are never alone! reach out to him so you could share your own testimony to let others know there is hope.

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  10. I remember all the stress I went through before discovering NAZAMIE while I was with my grandma who had Alzheimer's disease. She always accuse me of stealing her stuff, asked same set of questions repeatedly. It was so annoying and frustrating. Getting to know about NAZAMIE was very helpful to her mental health condition though. Sometimes the solution we ignore turns out to be what works for us.
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  11. Из-за жизнедеятельности бактерии хеликобактер пилори количество прыщей на лице увеличивается в геометрической прогрессии, и тут на помощь человеку может прийти правильное питание. Основой рациона должны стать овощи и фрукты. Вредную и жирную пищу стоит исключить из своего рациона. Также рекомендуется избавиться от злоупотребления алкоголем. Человеку нужно пить как можно больше воды, но при этом не злоупотреблять газированными напитками. Считается, что правильный рацион помогает гораздо быстрее справиться и с угрями, и с причиной их появления. Бактерия хеликобактер пилори действительно вызывает прыщи и кожный зуд, причем количество высыпаний увеличивается в зависимости от степени развития проблемы.

    Арахидоновая кислота
    в натуральном виде содержится преимущественно в продуктах животного происхождения. В растительных маслах арахидоновая кислота практически отсутствует.
    В сутки взрослому человеку нужно до 10 г полиненасыщенных жирных кислот, из которых половина должна приходиться на арахидоновую.
    Источник 1
    Источник 2
    Источник 3
    Источник 4
    Источник 5

    Некоторые продукты, содержащие арахидоновую кислоту, приведены ниже (% от веса сырого продукта):
    • Постная говядина — 0,046%
    • Говяжий жир — 0,5%
    • Свиная корейка — 0,053%
    • Свиной жир — 0,5%
    • Бараний жир — 0,5%
    • Почки — 0,3-0,5%
    • Печень — 0,23-0,36%
    • Сырое яйцо — 0,2-0,5%
    • Куриная грудка — 0,064%
    • Куриное бедро — 0,1%
    • Индюшиная грудка — 0,059%
    • Утка — 0,1%
    • Тунец — 0,033%
    • Лосось — 0,01-0,2%
    • Тресковый жир (мышцы) — 1-4%
    • Лососёвый жир — 0,5-1%
    • Жир сельди — 0,3-1%
    • Молочный жир — 0,1-1,7%
    • Масло коровье топлёное — 0,09%

    При гидрировании арахидоновая кислота образует арахиновую кислоту, встречающуюся в маслах бобовых растений, в частности — арахиса.
    Содержится в коровьем масле, в масле земляных орехов и в жирном веществе зёрен плодов рамбутана; это последнее представляет глицерид арахиновой кислоты с небольшой примесью глицерида олеиновой кислоты. Содержится также во многих растительных маслах: масло купуасу (11 %), масло авелланского ореха (6,3 %), масло моринга (4 %), масло дерева сал (3—9 %), масло капустной пальмы (2,5 %), масло чёрного кофе (2,34 %), масло манго (2 %), масло дерева ним (2 %), масло расторопши (3 %), масло семян смородины (менее 2 %).
    Окраска семян арахиса тёмно-красная или светло-розовая, кремовая или серовато-жёлтая; пигмент, который придаёт кожице такой цвет, защищает от насекомых, при попадании в ЖКТ человека может вызвать лёгкое отравление (диарею), легко удаляется при замачивании.
    Семена содержат до 53 % жирного масла. В состав масла входят глицериды арахиновой, лигноцериновой, стеариновой, пальмитиновой, гипогеевой, олеиновой, линолевой, лауриновой, миристиновой, бегеновой, ейкозеновой и церотиновой кислот. Кроме масла, в семенах есть белки (до 37 %), глобулины (до 17 %), арахин и конарахин, глютенины (около 17 %), крахмал (до 21 %), сахара (до 7,47 %), тритерпеновые сапонины, аминокислоты, пурины, а также витамины B (особенно в кожуре семени), витамин E, пантотеновая кислота, биотин и др. В состав оболочки плодов входит гликозид арахидозид, а также лейкоцианидин и лейкодельфинидин.

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  12. Hi, I am an audiologist running a domiciliary hearing care covering hearing tests and hearing aids for the elderly and seniors in South London UK (www.HearingNow.co.uk). I often come across a couple of patients with dementia every month or so when I visit them for ear wax removal or hearing test or adjusting their hearing aids. Just wanted to remind everyone in the elderly care services that there is a bold line between hearing loss and dementia. Please make sure that you encourage your elderly parents or relatives to take a hearing test. Thanks

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  13. Please Read.You have a great post here, Have anyone here know Goji Berries... yes... I tried those too.For my health conditions, Those sweet, red berries seemed to help, but only during the time when I consumed them. I don't want to take a drug for the rest of my life, so why would I want to take a natural supplement everyday for the rest of my life (although Goji berries are very tasty and are highly nourishing). To me this was not a cure either (and I'm LOOKING for the CURE).
    Up to that point, I hadn't found a cure. I felt like a young jumbled mess. I continued to have extreme pain, but continued on my path to healing. I started to focus on myself and not everyone else. When I was a young adult, I took on too much responsibility out of a sense of obligation. This was no longer healthy for me, so I resigned from all my projects and groups. Those days to come were the best [and worst] days. I took a lot of time off work, yet begun to feel so extremely exhausted. Many health professionals "diagnosed" me with adrenal fatigue & Hiv,Prostate Cancer so my situation was annoying then I keep searching for permanent cure online that's when I came to know of Dr jekawo herbal doctor hands whom god has blessed with ancestral powers and a gift to heal people with disease like .Cancers,Alzheimer's disease,HPV,Men & Women Infertility,Melanoma, Mesothelioma, Diabetes, Multiple myeloma, Parkinson's disease,Neuroendocrine tumors,Herpes, Hiv/Aids,Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma,, chronic diarrhea, COPD, Hepatitis... So I made a purchase of his herbal medicines and I have been watching my health for 6 years now and I actually confirmed that his herbal medicines are a permanent cure and I'm so happy that I came to know of his herbal healings.You can contact Dr Jekawo herbal doctor Email: drjekawo@gmail.com if you went through exactly what I go through in terms of health conditions because to be honest there is more to learn about natural herbs than medical drugs.

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